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Taoism: Shit happens. Confucianism: Confucius say, «Shit happens.» Buddhism: If shit happens, it isnt really shit. Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not. Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism: This shit has happened before. Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible. Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel. Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it. Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else. Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen. Episcopalian: Its not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. Methodist: Its not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it. Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another. Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another. Lutheran: If shit happens, dont talk about it. Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!) Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, its okay. Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again. Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us? Calvinism: Shit happens because you dont work. Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday. Creationism: God made all shit. Secular Humanism: Shit evolves. Christian Science: When shit happens, dont call a doctor pray! Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind. Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit. Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit. Utopianism: This shit does not stink. Darwinism: This shit was once food. Capitalism: Thats MY shit. Communism: Its everybodys shit. Feminism: Men are shit. Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you cant live without us… Commercialism: Lets package this shit. Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden. Idolism: Lets bronze this shit. Existentialism: Shit doesnt happen; shit IS. Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway? Stoicism: This shit is good for me. Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening! Mormonism: God sent us this shit. Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again. Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen. Scientology: If shit happens, see «Dianetics», p.157. Jehovahs Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens. Jehovahs Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit? Jehovahs Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening. Moonies: Only really happy shit happens. Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama. Rastafarianism: Lets smoke this shit! Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time. Church of SubGenius: BoB shits. Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time. Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not. Agnostic #2: Did someone shit? Agnostic #3: What is this shit? Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS. Atheism: What shit? Atheism #2: I cant believe this shit! Nihilism: No shit.
And of course we must add…Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens one day at a time!
A collective noun (or collective name) is a name which denotes or represents a number of individual items. For example, a number of sheep together is known as a flock. The word flock is the collective noun for a number of sheep. Some items have multiple collective nouns, for example a collection of goats can be known as a herd, a tribe or a trip.
Ambush is the collective noun for a group of tigers. Army is the collective noun for a group of frogs, ants, Array is the collective noun for a group of hedgehogs. Badelynge is the collective noun for a group of ducks on the ground. Bale is the collective noun for a group of turtles. Barren is the collective noun for a group of mules. Basket is the collective noun for a group of plums. Battery is the collective noun for a group of barracuda. Bazaar is the collective noun for a group of guillemots. Bed is the collective noun for a group of clams. Bench is the collective noun for a group of bishops, magistrates. Bevy is the collective noun for a group of quail, roes, swans, pheasants, ladies. Brace is the collective noun for a group of bucks. Brood is the collective noun for a group of chickens. Building is the collective noun for a group of rooks. Bunch is the collective noun for a group of grapes, flowers. Bundle is the collective noun for a group of asparagus. Business is the collective noun for a group of ferrets. Caravan is the collective noun for a group of camels. Cast is the collective noun for a group of hawks, falcons. Cete is the collective noun for a group of badgers. Charm is the collective noun for a group of goldfinches. Chatter is the collective noun for a group of budgerigars. Chattering is the collective noun for a group of choughs. Chine is the collective noun for a group of polecats. Clamour is the collective noun for a group of rooks. Clous is the collective noun for a group of gnats. Clowder is the collective noun for a group of cats. Clump is the collective noun for a group of trees. Cluster is the collective noun for a group of grapes, spiders. Clutch is the collective noun for a group of eggs. Clutter is the collective noun for a group of spiders. Colony is the collective noun for a group of gulls, frogs, penguins, ants, beavers. Company is the collective noun for a group of widgeon, parrots. Congregation is the collective noun for a group of plovers. Convocation is the collective noun for a group of eagles. Covert is the collective noun for a group of coots. Covey is the collective noun for a group of partridges, grouse. Crash is the collective noun for a group of rhinoceros. Crowd is the collective noun for a group of ibis. Cry is the collective noun for a group of hunting dogs. Deceit is the collective noun for a group of lapwings. Den is the collective noun for a group of snakes. Descent is the collective noun for a group of woodpeckers. Dole is the collective noun for a group of turtles. Dopping is the collective noun for a group of sheldrakes. Dout is the collective noun for a group of wild cats. Down is the collective noun for a group of hares. Drift is the collective noun for a group of swine. Drove is the collective noun for a group of donkeys, cattle, pigs. Dryet is the collective noun for a group of swine. Earth is the collective noun for a group of foxes. Erst is the collective noun for a group of bees. Exaltation is the collective noun for a group of larks in flight. Fall is the collective noun for a group of woodcock. Family is the collective noun for a group of sardines. Fesnyng is the collective noun for a group of ferrets. Flight is the collective noun for a group of dunlins. Fling is the collective noun for a group of oxbirds, sandpipers. Float is the collective noun for a group of crocodiles. Flock is the collective noun for a group of sheep, birds, swifts. Gaggle is the collective noun for a group of geese on the ground rather than in flight. Galaxy is the collective noun for a group of beauties Gam is the collective noun for a group of whales, porpoises, dolphins. Gang is the collective noun for a group of elk. Gang is the collective noun for a group of slaves, prisoners, thieves. Gleam is the collective noun for a group of herring. Grist is the collective noun for a group of bees. Haras is the collective noun for a group of horses. Herd is the collective noun for a group of deer, goats, cattle, antelope, seals, swans, curlews. Hill is the collective noun for a group of ruffs. Hive is the collective noun for a group of bees. Hover is the collective noun for a group of trout. Husk is the collective noun for a group of hares. Kennel is the collective noun for a group of dogs. Kindle is the collective noun for a group of kittens. Knab is the collective noun for a group of toads. Knot is the collective noun for a group of toads. Labour is the collective noun for a group of moles. Leap is the collective noun for a group of leopards. Leash is the collective noun for a group of bucks. Litter is the collective noun for a group of pups, whelps, pigs, cubs. Murder is the collective noun for a group of crows. Murmuration is the collective noun for a group of starlings. Muster is the collective noun for a group of peacocks. Mutation is the collective noun for a group of thrush. Mute is the collective noun for a group of hounds. Nest is the collective noun for a group of ants, mice, rabbits, wasps. Nye is the collective noun for a group of pheasants. Pace is the collective noun for a group of asses. Pack is the collective noun for a group of hounds, wolves, grouse. Paddling is the collective noun for a group of ducks in water. Parliament is the collective noun for a group of owls. Pit is the collective noun for a group of snakes. Pitying is the collective noun for a group of turtle doves. Plump is the collective noun for a group of woodcock, wildfowl. Pod is the collective noun for a group of peas, whiting, whales, seals. Pride is the collective noun for a group of lions. Pump is the collective noun for a group of ducks in flight. Punnet is the collective noun for a group of strawberries. Rafter is the collective noun for a group of turkeys. Rag is the collective noun for a group of colts. Richesse is the collective noun for a group of martens. Roost is the collective noun for a group of pigeons. Rope is the collective noun for a group of onions. Run is the collective noun for a group of poultry. Rush is the collective noun for a group of pochards. School is the collective noun for a group of porpoises, whales, dolphins. Sedge is the collective noun for a group of cranes, bitterns, herons. Shoal is the collective noun for a group of fish. Show is the collective noun for a group of dogs. Shrewdness is the collective noun for a group of apes. Siege is the collective noun for a group of cranes, bitterns, herons. Skein is the collective noun for a group of geese in flight. Skulk is the collective noun for a group of foxes. Sleuth is the collective noun for a group of bears. Sloth is the collective noun for a group of bears. Smuck is the collective noun for a group of jellyfish. Sord is the collective noun for a group of wildfowl. Sounder is the collective noun for a group of swine, boars. Spinney is the collective noun for a group of trees. Spring is the collective noun for a group of teals. String is the collective noun for a group of race horses. Stud is the collective noun for a group of mares. Sute is the collective noun for a group of bloodhounds, wildfowl. Swarm is the collective noun for a group of ants, gnats, bees, flies. Team is the collective noun for a group of ducks in flight, oxen. Thicket is the collective noun for a group of trees. Tiding is the collective noun for a group of magpies. Tower is the collective noun for a group of giraffes. Tribe is the collective noun for a group of goats. Trip is the collective noun for a group of goats. Troop is the collective noun for a group of baboons, monkeys, kangaroos. Troubling is the collective noun for a group of goldfish. Unkindness is the collective noun for a group of ravens. Venue is the collective noun for a group of vultures. Volery is the collective noun for a group of birds. Walk is the collective noun for a group of snipe. Watch is the collective noun for a group of nightingales. Wing is the collective noun for a group of plovers. Wisp is the collective noun for a group of snipe. Yoke is the collective noun for a group of oxen.